You might be an asshole
I am not referring to the assholes like our weekly award winners. They are in a class of their own. Many everyday people around us display inconsideration and indifference to others which define an asshole. You might even have a few of these qualities. I am listing a few warning signs here. If you find yourself answering yes to the questions below, it may be time to ask someone you trust and admire, "Tell me the truth, am I an asshole?
Do you drive in the left lane on the freeway even when you are not passing another vehicle? You may be an asshole. Major league assholes have been known to drive from Detroit to Disney World only leaving the left lane to exit.
Do you constantly interrupt others when talking? You may be an asshole. In case you were wondering the annoyed looks you see on the faces of others are for you.
Do you honk when you drive by the house of someone you know? You may be an asshole. Do you think they rush to the window every time they hear a horn? It is just annoying and without purpose.
Ditto if you honk at someone who has passed you in a car going the other way. The person you recognized is not going to turn his head on a pivot like a ventriloquist's dummy. More likely the driver in front of you wonders what the fuck you want.
Do you act like public streets and parking lots are your personal trash bin? You are most likely an asshole.
Do you drive like you have the deed to the highway in your glove box and other drivers are just nuisances on your road? You may be an asshole.
Do you vote a straight Republican ticket? You probably are an asshole.
Do you shout "get a job" at homeless people? You may be an asshole. Lack of compassion is one of the defining traits.
Do you think the 2020 election was stolen? You are assuredly an asshole and a contender for asshole of the week.
Do you believe the country is run by a satanic cabal of pedophiles that drink children's blood? You are not just an asshole, you are disturbingly crazy./p>
This is not a static document, if you think of some other "Do you"s, send them to me